Rare voices · Letter 07 of 12

A Letter to Amy from Cao Wendong, an ALS Patient

A Letter to Amy from Cao Wendong, an ALS Patient

English translation

Dear Amy,

Hello!

When you read this letter, perhaps you have just awakened to some Atlantic morning, the sea splashed by the rising sun into a spread of shattered gold, glittering with the waves; or perhaps you are facing the Atlantic's sky-high billows, tenaciously facing them alone in your lone boat amid the crests and troughs, with only the sound of the wind for company across the vast sky and sea. And on the other side of the earth, many people are quietly watching the direction in which you press forward. As a member of the rare-disease community, I wish you safe passage across a thousand waves, to send out a far-reaching and firm voice to the world on our behalf…

At this moment, I want to write this letter to you on behalf of the community of patients and family members with amyotrophic lateral sclerosis (ALS).

ALS is a rare neurodegenerative disease. Because the nerve cells that control muscle movement progressively die, patients gradually lose the ability to move, speak, swallow, and even breathe on their own; the body seems to be gradually frozen, which is why it is commonly called “frozen person disease” (“jianbing zheng”) in Chinese. Because the cause is unknown, the disease currently lacks effective therapy, and most patients die of respiratory failure within 2 to 5 years. The most cruel part is that the vast majority of patients keep their consciousness and memory clear throughout, meaning we can only watch, helplessly, as our own bodies lose control bit by bit—this “conscious imprisonment” is an extreme torment of body and mind.

The ALS community has long been trapped in three survival dilemmas: first, there is currently no effective treatment plan for the disease, and patients' survival period is generally short; second, as the disease progresses, patients gradually lose the ability to care for themselves, daily life depends on 24-hour care, complications are many, care procedures are complex, and the manpower and energy consumed in caregiving are enormous; third, the expenses for life-sustaining ventilators, eye-tracking devices for communication, rehabilitation equipment, and the like are large, adding to the family's financial burden.

Our greatest wish is to obtain an effective treatment as soon as possible, to restore the ability to live independently, and to have a more complete life.

I became ill in 2009 at the age of 24, and have now lived with ALS for a full 17 years, making me one of the “lucky ones” in this patient community. Now my muscles throughout my body are severely weak and atrophied; my lower limbs have completely lost function and I cannot stand; my arms are too weak to raise; only the middle finger of my right hand retains a faint bit of strength to barely operate a mouse. The strength of my trunk, waist, and abdomen is very poor, making it hard to sit for long, and I lie in bed for more than 18 hours a day. My respiratory muscles have severely declined, and I depend entirely on a ventilator for assistance. I have difficulty swallowing and can only sustain my life by injecting liquid food through a feeding tube. My speech function, impaired by respiratory distress, is also increasingly affected. But even though my body is tightly trapped, I have never stopped fighting. Since 2010, I have persisted in collecting and translating foreign materials on ALS—disease knowledge, research news, progress on new drugs, rehabilitation and care experience, and so on—totaling over 2 million words, which I have organized and posted on patient forums for everyone to study and understand, lighting a little glimmer for fellow travelers and bringing them a trace of hope.

Illness has changed a great deal, but illness cannot define us. In the ALS community, I have seen patients who persist in working despite their illness, patients who write tirelessly using eye-tracking devices, and family members who, through long years of caregiving, have never once given up. Illness has taken away our ability to move, but it can never take away our right to love life, care for our families, and pursue dignity!

In recent years, the development of medicine has also let us see new hope. More and more researchers, medical workers, enterprises, and charitable organizations are investing in ALS research. New treatment targets keep emerging, and new clinical trials continue to advance. Although there is still a long way to go before completely defeating the disease, every bit of progress gives us one more measure of conviction to fight it.

You are carrying out the challenge of crossing the Atlantic alone in a small boat, facing 20-foot waves, endless nights, continuous physical exhaustion, and day-after-day loneliness—just as we face our long years. Much of the time, we cannot decide the direction of the waves, but we can decide whether to keep rowing the oars in our hands. Thank you for being willing to set sail carrying the voice of the rare-disease community! For us, being seen is itself a kind of strength. A rare disease is not a cold medical term, nor a proportion in a set of statistics. Behind every patient there is a real life, a living family, and many dreams not yet realized. You cross the vast ocean with your hands; we cross a frozen life with our courage—this perseverance is, in essence, the same. Though we are in different circumstances, we share the same tenacity that refuses to admit defeat. When the days and nights at sea are hard to bear and body and mind are weary, please remember: every time you row, you are, on behalf of the rare-disease patients trapped by illness, rushing toward the world. However great the wind and waves, we are watching over you from afar.

Finally, I want to say to the ALS community: please do not doubt the value of life because of illness. The meaning of life lies not only in how far one can go or how much one can do, but also in how one faces difficulty, how one loves others and oneself, and how one still keeps dignity and hope in adversity. I also want to say to myself: though the body is frozen, the spirit will never wither; use what limited ability you have to warm fellow travelers; be forever strong, with a heart at peace!

May the near future come when ALS is no longer an unwinnable, drawn-out farewell; may your beloved be settled and healthy, and keep getting better; and may you and I both cross the wind and waves and reach the far shore of our own lives.

With respect,

and my salute!

Cao Wendong, a person with ALS

June 21, 2026, World ALS Day

Enclosed with this letter is an essay I wrote in 2015; I respectfully ask for your comments.

Happiness and Joy

Happiness and joy—we often bring them up in daily life, but if we think carefully, what exactly are they, what characteristics do they have, and how do we obtain them? These questions can easily leave one at a loss. It is just like our sense of time: so familiar that it accompanies us every minute and every second, yet so unfamiliar that it is hard to grasp and hold.

What are happiness and joy? This makes me think of a film starring Fan Wei. In this film, when the protagonist is asked what happiness is, he answers: “When I'm hungry and I see someone holding a meat bun, then he's happier than me; when I'm cold and I see someone wearing a thick cotton coat, he's happier than me; when I need to use the toilet and there's only one squat pit, and you're squatting there, then you're happier than me.”

Comrade Fan Wei's answer is quite down-to-earth and makes people chuckle. Happiness and joy seem to be just this simple, and yet seem not so simple. It can be a philosophical proposition, and it is also closely related to psychology; at the same time it is reflected in economics and behavioral science. It is abstract, yet also concrete; it is intangible, yet also tangible. It is both an existence we can really experience in life, and something that can serve merely as “chicken soup for the soul” spilled from pen onto paper.

In my view, happiness and joy are the spiritual pleasure that people experience in the process of change from “discomfort” to “comfort.”

Starting from this definition, we can extend and appreciate a great deal:

First, happiness and joy arise from comparison.

Just like states that coexist in opposition—beauty and ugliness, good and evil, challenge and opportunity—happiness and joy also need an opposite: a less comfortable opposite, such as hunger, thirst, pain, sorrow, worry, grief, and so on. Only by contrasting with these states can we possibly appreciate happiness and joy. When you are terribly thirsty, even tap water tastes sweet and delicious; the joy of that sweetness comes from the discomfort of thirst. When a mosquito bites a big bump and you scratch a few times, it feels so good; that comfort comes from the misery of the itch. In the era of eating chaff and wild vegetables, wrapping a batch of dumplings for the New Year was so joyful; now we complain that the New Year feels less festive, perhaps precisely because the hunger and cold that once served as contrast are gradually receding.

Of course, “discomfort” and “comfort” are also relative. They can be the truly “uncomfortable” and “comfortable” mentioned above, or they can be “comfortable” versus “more comfortable.” We are already in an age of constantly pursuing greater comfort—changing houses, changing cars, changing to a bigger TV, buying a more fashionable phone—often not because the old things can no longer be used, but because we expect something better. In the contrast between better and good, we feel happiness and joy.

The comparison mentioned above is mainly comparison with one's own state, but in life there is another kind of comparison that cannot be avoided—comparison with others. So-and-so was my classmate, and now their income is such-and-such, their house is so big… Humans are social animals, and comparing ourselves with others is an ineradicable factor in our nature. There is nothing wrong with this; it is even one of the drivers of improving our own conditions of survival. Interestingly, we often say “worse off than some, better off than others.” Comparing upward, what we experience is often envy and jealousy; comparing downward, what we gain is ease and joy. In other words, we may be more willing to compare downward.

One might say that without misfortune there is no happiness, and without pain there is no joy. The reason we must endure misfortune and pain is, to a large extent, because we want to pursue happiness and joy.

Second, happiness and joy are destined to be brief.

Since they exist within the process of change between two states, they are necessarily brief. When we hear a joke, we laugh “ha-ha” and it passes—a few seconds at the short end, a few dozen seconds at the long end; if we laughed for a day and a half, we would get muscle cramps. Why did the Creator not design our happiness and joy to be a bit longer and more lasting? This question probably has no definite answer—or perhaps it is precisely because they are brief that they are precious, and so we cherish and pursue them.

In the final analysis, our life is made up of one matter after another, and among these matters, great and small, the vast majority require us to expend our minds and strength, bear pressure, and possibly suffer failure, pain, and blows. From childhood we study and compete with others, attend all kinds of tutoring classes, take exams big and small; having finally entered university, within a few days we face employment pressure; after starting work we have to buy a house and start a family, and afterward there is our children's education and supporting our parents—and in a flash several decades have passed… Only in the brief gaps between these matters can we experience ease and joy. If life is inherently like this, then we can be at peace with it: since this is a law not shifted by our will, we simply do one thing after another, live day by day, bravely bear the pain, and at the same time cherish the joy.

Third, happiness and joy are highly subjective.

Since they are experienced by an individual, they are highly subjective; the kinds differ, and the degrees vary greatly. For example, Chairman Mao loved to eat spicy food and fermented tofu, and especially loved braised pork, which had to be fatty; he claimed braised pork could nourish the brain, and said he defeated Chiang Kai-shek while eating braised pork. But this dietary habit that brought Chairman Mao joy was sneered at by Jiang Qing as that of a country bumpkin. You find Guo Degang's routines funny, while he himself is keen on the understated style of Ma Zhiming; some people like to read and listen to music quietly and delight in their own company, while others love parties and lively gatherings, roaming amid clinking cups and glasses, giving free rein to their spirits.

A side effect of this subjectivity, or one might say this individuality, is that we can, free from the fetters of material things, culture, and objective environment, pursue the happiness and joy that belong to us. And this, perhaps, is precisely the true meaning of life!

As one of the most “intimate” “companions” of my life, I cannot but say a word about the disease I have. My disease is scientifically named amyotrophic lateral sclerosis, a type of motor neuron disease, abbreviated in English as ALS, commonly known as “frozen person disease.” This disease is one of the five incurable diseases listed by the World Health Organization, alongside cancer, AIDS, leukemia, and rheumatoid disease. Because the motor neurons progressively die, patients gradually lose the ability to initiate and control voluntary movement; the muscles weaken and atrophy, and slowly one cannot move, cannot speak, cannot swallow, and finally cannot breathe—as if the body were being gradually frozen. The disease was discovered in 1874; because the cause is unknown, there is still a lack of a cure or effective treatment. After diagnosis, patients have an average survival of only 2 to 5 years, of whom 20% can exceed 5 years and 10% can exceed 10 years. The incidence of this disease is relatively low, only a few in a hundred thousand. Before the Ice Bucket Challenge that swept the globe last summer, the vast majority of people may have never heard of it, and even many medical workers did not know much about it.

That said, compared with even rarer diseases, ALS does have some degree of recognition, because there are several fairly well-known patients, such as the British theoretical physicist Stephen Hawking and the late American baseball player Lou Gehrig. The former is well known to the public for his popular-science book A Brief History of Time, and the film The Theory of Everything, based on his early life, won the Oscar for Best Actor in the most recent edition; the latter was a legendary figure in the history of American baseball, so much so that ALS in America is generally called Lou Gehrig's disease. In fact, there is another patient who could be called the most famous of all—the aforementioned Chairman Mao who loved braised pork. But in that era, his health was a top secret, so that even now few people know that what he had was ALS.

I became ill in 2009; my progression has been relatively slow, but now I have also completely lost the ability to walk and stand, my upper limbs are severely impaired, I cannot take care of myself, and my breathing is somewhat poor, occasionally needing ventilator support. The fastest-progressing patient I have seen went from onset to death in only 10 months, changing almost daily. There are also some severely ill patients who are completely paralyzed in bed, with only their eyes able to move, needing a ventilator 24 hours a day, their food having to be blended into liquid and then pumped into the stomach through a stoma in the abdomen. I once fell into confusion: in a state like ours, are we really alive? Perhaps there truly exists a third state between life and death. And so comes the question that troubles many patients: amid the torment, why keep living? To wait for a miracle? For family? Or simply because a poor life beats a good death? Perhaps, but these answers are too concrete and have their limitations; a conviction supported by them may well collapse in the face of ever-increasing pain. In the end, I found my own answer: hold fast to life, do the things I can do and want to do, and experience the joy and beauty I can still feel!

Finally, happiness and joy lean more toward the spiritual and psychological level.

An abundance of material life can bring us comfort, but does not necessarily bring happiness and joy—indeed, too much material abundance may even lower our sense of happiness and give rise to the question, “Are you happy?”

In the final analysis, all material and external stimuli must pass through the sensory system to become nerve signals and impulses that enter our brain, and are then reflected as all kinds of feelings. A while ago I watched the film Blind Massage, in which a blind person does not know what beauty is. Come to think of it, it is true—this is a completely abstract concept; without vision, how can one perceive and distinguish beauty from ugliness!

My disease has a characteristic: throughout its course, the patient's sensation, thinking, memory, and other functions are mostly unaffected. This is quite terrifying, because you have to watch, helplessly, as you continually weaken toward death, unable to skip over any bit of pain in the whole process. Many patients are anxious and tormented by this, especially those who, because of illness, have been left by spouse and children, isolated and helpless, and must also suffer the ups and downs of human warmth and coldness. But looking at it from another angle: if one lost thinking, memory, and spirit, and no longer had the ability to perceive love and beauty, could one still be called human? After all, this is precisely the essential difference between humans and ordinary animals.

So how exactly do we obtain happiness and joy? Or rather, how can we obtain more happiness and joy? I think we still have to start from the characteristics of happiness and joy.

First, make good use of comparison.

Since happiness and joy arise from comparison, we should make good use of comparison.

First, again, comparison with ourselves. Of course, we should not deliberately create “discomfort” for the sake of comparison; rather, we should constantly and actively create “more comfort,” which is complementary to a positive and upward attitude toward life. Everyone has a circle that confines them, concrete or abstract; at birth the circle is smallest, and then, actively or passively, intentionally or unintentionally, it gradually expands—learning more knowledge, walking farther, making more friends… In this process, we should try to actively and intentionally set goals and strive for them, avoiding drifting with the current. This attitude can be everlasting, whether the objective environment is superior, terrible, or cruel.

In my university dormitory there was a brother whose father brought him to school, and on leaving said to him: “No matter when, always live in a way that looks the part.” This sentence carried a kind of solemn tragedy, which is why it left a deep impression on me. This roommate's family circumstances were ordinary, and his food, clothing, and daily expenses were plain and simple. He didn't have many clothes, but he paid great attention to matching them; his furnishings were simple, but he was very good at arranging them. Friends who have seen a university dormitory will surely relate deeply: many are as messy and dirty as a pigsty, clothes and shoes piled in utter disorder everywhere, but his bunk was always neat and clean—before sleeping he folded his clothes neatly and placed them at the head of the bed, and after getting up he tidied his bedding flat and smooth, shaving and grooming meticulously, so that his whole demeanor was always fresh and spirited. Later I pondered why his father would say such a thing—perhaps because the family was going through hardship at the time, perhaps because he knew his son was dissatisfied with the school and especially the boarding conditions, or perhaps it was simply a word of instruction to a son about to begin a new life. But in any case, my roommate did it: in an un-superior, even harsh, environment, he always kept himself living the part—he scored the highest in the whole grade on the CET-6 exam, changed majors with high marks to pursue graduate study, and now has a family, a career, and stands on his own. Every year at our small reunions, I can still feel his ever-present vigor and spirit!

The other aspect is comparison with others. When in favorable circumstances, we should compare upward, so that we are not arrogant or overweening; when in adversity, we can compare downward, so that we are not despondent or self-abasing. The former is relatively easy to do; the latter involves the angle from which one views problems. Unlike the self-deceiving anesthesia of the “Ah Q spirit,” it should be based on facts and grasp the essence.

Back when typing was not as difficult as it is now, I spent a lot of time on QQ. The patient friends in the group came from all over the country, differing in culture, station, and experience, and so their attitudes toward problems varied greatly; there were often discussions and even arguments. I remember once, a patient friend said: “If only our disease were contagious like SARS and AIDS, then the state would take it seriously…” Looking back now, this was just his complaint and venting in adversity, but at the time I replied quite bluntly: “If ALS were contagious, the first victims would be our family and friends. Is that what you want?” Such comparisons among patient friends are not uncommon, and in fact they do not grasp the essence of the problem. Admittedly, the contagiousness of SARS and AIDS is indeed a reason the state and even the whole world attach great importance to them, but non-contagious diseases such as cancer and cardiovascular and cerebrovascular diseases also receive much attention. Therefore contagiousness is not the core; the key lies in social influence. To attract attention, one needs to find ways to raise social influence. In the past few years there were often rumors—that AIDS patients, taking revenge on society, put their blood into watermelons or into grilled meat, and so on. Such rumors, though they can form explosive social influence in the short term, result in people's fear, hostility, and further discrimination, falling into a vicious cycle. The ALS patient community should raise social influence in a positive way, showing our cherishing of life and our unyielding spirit in adversity, so that all sectors of society love us, respect us, and sympathize with us—rather than fear us, hate us, and reject us.

When patient friends complain about the pain of the disease, I tell them: for most of the disease's course, we will not have problems with pain, and even when we do, we can mostly bear it—this is better than the churning, tormenting pain of cancer; when we have this disease, our hearts are steady and open, and it will not infect our family—this is better than the possibly head-lowering sense of discrimination and the contagiousness of AIDS; the age of onset of our disease is mostly middle-aged and older, and most patients have a career, a family, and a basically complete life—this is far better off than the children who suffer from spinal muscular atrophy and progressive muscular dystrophy, many of whom do not live to adulthood, so that romance, work, and the like are entirely out of the question.

Making such comparisons can help us face adversity more calmly and better balance our state of mind.

Second, know yourself and understand your own true thoughts.

Since happiness and joy are highly subjective and personal experiences, one must know what one really wants and likes.

When Fang Zhouzi spoke of success, he said he believed success is being able to do what one wants to do while also contributing to society. I think this is very apt. Our education system and social culture often neglect the shaping of a person's individuality. In exchanges with peers, we generally feel confused: we have learned much knowledge but do not know what it is for; not only do we not know what we can do, we are not even clear about what we want to do or what kind of life we want. We muddle through university, step into society with little choice, and then get entangled in daily trivialities, unable to extricate ourselves.

On Youku there is a video program called On the Road (“Lǜxing”), which records a couple's travels and life. In their early years they sold tofu, sold tofu-making machines, and even ran a public toilet; later they joined a jewelry chain and life gradually stabilized. During the 2008 Wenchuan earthquake, they went deep into the disaster area as volunteers, shedding countless drops of sweat and tears in the process of saving lives. The fragility and smallness of life moved them greatly, and so the idea of changing their way of life sprouted. After careful preparation, they gave up their business and comfortable life and began to travel, seeking experiences that could help them understand that life, living, and survival are a challenge. They went to Somalia, which was in a state of anarchy with an AK-47 in every hand; to Chernobyl, a dead-silent place where the danger of nuclear radiation was everywhere; and to Oymyakon, the coldest place; they sailed around the world at sea, proposed at the North Pole, held a wedding at the South Pole, and recently began a westward journey through 80% of the world's war-torn countries… Although the journey was full of hardship and danger, they were doing what they truly wanted to do, experiencing in it their own romance and joy.

Life is short and full of the helplessness of being unable to act as one wishes. We may not be able to be as free and unrestrained as they are, but when conditions permit, we should follow the feeling in our hearts and live for ourselves.

Third, focus on pursuing the richness and elevation of the spiritual world.

Since happiness and joy lean more toward the spiritual and psychological level, in the process of pursuing happiness and joy we need to focus on the stimuli that can more deeply touch our spirit, psychology, and soul, and that require more advanced skill.

In today's highly civilized human society, leisure time is more and more abundant, yet a series of “diseases of civilization” have arisen—for example, violent incidents emerge one after another, drugs are rampant, and chronic mental afflictions such as depression keep increasing. One of the causes of these problems is our fear of emptiness and boredom—people need to be busy, but cannot find suitable stimuli to keep themselves busy.

In Zweig's The Royal Game (“The Chess Story”), such a character is portrayed: when Germany annexed Austria, he was framed and imprisoned in a bare, four-walled room, and amid boundless emptiness and loneliness cultivated a talent for chess by means of a stolen chess manual. But playing against himself for a long time, with no board and no opponent, led to a split of the mind, even to madness. Although this novella is an indictment of the torment and destruction of the human soul by Nazi fascism, the phenomenon it describes has great real-world significance.

When I was a child, a small alley near my home was full of mahjong parlors big and small, the clacking sound endless all day long. In my university days, some classmates ate and slept in internet cafes for weeks or months playing online games, claiming that once they left the cafe they didn't know which way to walk. I used to think they whiled away their time like this out of boredom; only now do I understand that they whiled away their time like this out of fear of boredom. Yet such low-end or repetitive activities easily make people feel dull and further destroy their will, ultimately becoming spiritual opium. Engaging in such activities does not bring happiness and joy, but is merely to avoid pain.

The most enchanting and wholesome activities are often those that require the highest skill and patience, such as scientific research, literature and art, and skill-based sports. Yang Zhenning once mentioned that Dirac's papers give people the feeling of “autumn-water prose untainted by dust”—no idle words at all, going straight to the essence, straight to the mysteries of the universe. We ordinary people probably find it hard to understand Dirac's work, and so cannot feel the joy Yang Zhenning experienced, but that beautiful feeling must be very advanced, very lucid, and very enchanting. Emulating the worthy is a quality built into our genes, and setting one's sights high is but a single thought away!

Fourth, help others obtain happiness and joy.

There is a certain degree of self-interest in human nature, but at the same time a considerable proportion of altruism. Facing the weak, we can't help but feel sympathy; seeing others suffer, we feel we cannot bear it. In the face of disaster, examples of sacrificing oneself to save others are common. Those who help others expend their minds and strength, dig into their own pockets, and even risk their lives, to save strangers they have never met and will very likely never see again. In everyday life, too, we often contribute our time, energy, and money knowing full well there will be no return—such as donating money, giving blood, volunteering, giving directions to strangers, and so on.

These acts of goodwill seem to run counter to the fabled selfishness of human nature, but they undoubtedly make the community we live in warmer. Social exchange theory offers an explanation for altruism: helping others can in fact bring rewards. Rewards fall into two types, external rewards and internal rewards. Those who help others can win people's praise and raise their social prestige; if they help blood relatives, they can also increase the chances of their own genes being passed on… these are all external rewards. Internal rewards are equally important. When we do a good deed, we often feel we are more worthwhile. When we bring others a good mood, our own emotions rise along with it. Helping others can bring joy to oneself, hence the saying “joy in helping others”; and when we are in a good mood, we are especially willing to relieve others' worries and difficulties, which is the so-called “delight in helping others.”

The pursuit of happiness and joy is a fundamental driving force of life, and also one of the natural rights and meanings the Creator has bestowed on life. I wish all my friends, no matter what circumstances they find themselves in, the ability to experience happiness and joy!

中文原文

渐冻症患者曹文东写给Amy姐的一封信

亲爱的Amy 姐:

您好!

当您读到这封信时,或许刚刚于大西洋的某个清晨醒来,海面被朝阳泼染成一片碎金,随波涛粼粼闪耀;也或许正面临大西洋的滔天巨浪,在浪尖和波谷中顽强地孤舟以对,广阔的天海间惟有风声作伴。而在地球另一端,有许多人正默默注视着您前行的方向,我作为罕见病群体的一员,祝您踏过千重浪,替我们向世界发出悠远而坚定的声音……

此刻,我想代表肌萎缩侧索硬化症(Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis,ALS)患者及家属群体,给您写下这封信。

ALS是一种罕见的神经退行性疾病,由于控制肌肉运动的神经细胞进行性死亡,患者会逐渐失去行动、说话、吞咽甚至自主呼吸能力,身体仿佛被逐渐冻住,中文俗称“渐冻症”。由于病因不明,该病目前缺少有效疗法,大多数患者会在2-5年内因呼吸衰竭离世。最为残酷的是,绝大部分患者的意识和记忆始终保持清醒,意味着我们只能眼睁睁看着自己的身体一点点失去控制,这种“清醒的禁锢”是对身心的极度折磨。

ALS群体长期深陷三重生存困境:一是疾病暂无有效治疗方案,患者生存期普遍较短;二是随着病情发展,患者将逐步丧失自理能力,日常起居依赖24小时照护,并发症较多,照护操作复杂、护理人力与精力消耗巨大;三是维持生命的呼吸机、沟通用眼动仪、康复器械等开支较大,加重家庭经济负担。

我们最大的心愿,是尽快获得有效的治疗方法,恢复自主生活能力,拥有更加完整的人生。

我于2009年24岁时发病,已与渐冻症相伴整整17年,属于这个患者群体中的“幸运儿”。如今全身肌肉严重无力萎缩,下肢完全丧失功能,无法站立,手臂无力上举,仅有右手中指残存微弱力气勉强操作鼠标。躯干部腰腹力量很差,难以久坐,全天卧床超过18个小时。呼吸肌肉衰退严重,完全依赖呼吸机辅助。吞咽困难,只能通过饲管注入流食维持生命。语言功能因呼吸窘迫受损也日益明显。但即便身体被牢牢困住,我也从未停下抗争,自2010年起,我坚持搜集、翻译国外有关ALS的疾病知识、科研资讯、新药进展、康复护理经验等资料共计超过200万字,整理发布在病友论坛,供大家学习、了解,为同路人点亮一点微光,带去一丝希望。

疾病改变了很多,但疾病无法定义我们。在 ALS 群体中,我见过带病坚持工作的病友,见过用眼动仪笔耕不辍的病友,也见过患者家属在漫长的照护岁月中始终不曾放弃的坚守。疾病夺走了我们的行动能力,但永远不能夺走我们热爱生活、关心家人、追求尊严的权利!

近些年,医学的发展也让我们看到了新的希望。越来越多的科研人员、医务工作者、企业和公益组织正在投入 ALS 研究。新的治疗靶点不断出现,新的临床试验持续推进。虽然距离彻底战胜疾病还有很长的路要走,但每一点进步,都会让我们多一份对抗疾病的信念。

您正在践行孤舟横渡大西洋的挑战,直面20尺巨浪、无尽黑夜、持续体力透支和日复一日的孤独,正如我们所面对的漫长岁月。很多时候,我们无法决定海浪的方向,却能够决定是否继续划动手中的船桨。感谢您愿意带着罕见病群体的声音远航!于我们而言,被看见本身就是一种力量。罕见病不是冰冷的医学术语,也不是统计数字中的一个比例。每一位患者背后,都有一个真实的人生,一个活生生的家庭,以及许多尚未实现的梦想。您用双手穿越广阔的海洋,我们用勇气穿越渐冻的人生,这份坚持,本质上是相通的。我们虽身处不同的境地,却拥有同一份不肯认输的坚韧。当海上昼夜难熬、身心俱疲时,请记得:您每一次划动船桨,都是替被病痛困住的罕见病患者,向世界奔赴。风浪再大,都有我们在远方为您守望。

最后,我想对 ALS 群体说:请不要因为疾病而怀疑生命的价值,生命的意义并不只在于能够走多远、做多少事,也在于如何面对困难,如何爱人爱己,如何在困境中依然保持尊严与希望;也想对自己说:躯体虽被冰封,精神永不凋零;尽有限的能力,温暖同路人;永远坚强,内心宁静!

愿不远的未来,ALS 不再是一场无法战胜的漫长告别;愿您的爱人安定安康,持续向好;也愿你我,皆能穿越风浪,抵达属于自己的人生彼岸。

此致

敬礼!

渐冻人曹文东

2026年6月21日世界渐冻人日

随信附上一篇我2015年写的随笔,恭请雅正。

幸福与快乐

幸福与快乐,我们在日常生活中经常会提起,但仔细想想,它究竟是什么,有些什么特点,如何获得?却又很容易让人陷入迷茫。这就如同我们对时间的感觉一样,既熟悉到分分秒秒都与其相伴,又陌生到难以捉摸和把握。

幸福与快乐是什么?这让我想起范伟主演的一部电影。在这部电影中,主人公在被问及什么是幸福时,回答如下:“我饿了,看别人手里拿个肉包子,那他就比我幸福;我冷了,看别人穿了一件厚棉袄,他就比我幸福;我想上茅房,就一个坑,你蹲那儿了,你就比我幸福。”

范伟同志的回答挺实在,让人忍俊不禁。幸福快乐好像就是这么简单,可似乎又不那么简单。它可以是哲学命题,又与心理学息息相关,同时在经济学和行为学中也有所体现。它是抽象的,亦是具象的;它是无形的,亦是有形的。既是生活中我们实实在在能体验的存在,又可以仅仅作为心灵鸡汤挥洒于笔尖和纸上。

在我看来,幸福与快乐,是人们在从“不适”到“舒适”的变化过程中所体验到的精神上的愉悦。

从这个定义出发,我们能够扩展和体会到很多:

首先,幸福快乐源于比较。

与美和丑、善与恶、挑战和机遇等对应并存的状态一样,幸福快乐也需要对立面——让人不那么舒适的对立面,比如饥饿、口渴、疼痛、悲伤、忧虑、哀愁等等。只有与这些状态进行对比,我们才可能体会到幸福快乐。渴的厉害,喝自来水都觉得香甜可口,香甜可口的快乐源于口渴的不适;被蚊子叮个大包,挠几下太舒服了,舒服来自瘙痒的难受;吃糠咽菜的年代,过年包顿饺子太开心了,现在我们抱怨年味淡了,也许正是因为那曾经作为对比的饥寒交迫在渐渐远去。

当然,“不适”和“舒适”也是相对而言的,可以是上面提到的真正的“不适”和“舒适”,也可以是“舒适”与“更舒适”。我们已经处于不断追求更舒适的年代,换房子、换车子,换更大的电视,买更时尚的手机,往往并不是因为旧的东西已经不能用了,而是我们期望更好的。在更好与好的对比中,我们会感到幸福快乐。

上面提到的比较主要是与自己状态的比较,但在生活中还有一种比较是无法避免的,那就是和他人进行比较。某某某和我是同学,人家现在收入多少多少,房子多大多大……人是社会性动物,攀比是我们本性中挥之不去的因子,这没有什么不对,甚至是我们改善自身生存状态的驱动力之一。有趣的是,我们经常会说比上不足比下有余,向上比,体验的往往是羡慕和嫉妒,而向下比得到的是轻松与快乐。也就是说,我们可能更愿意向下比。

可以说,没有不幸就没有幸福,没有痛苦就没有快乐。之所以要承受不幸与痛苦,很大程度上是因为我们要追求幸福与快乐。

其次,幸福快乐注定是短暂的。

既然存在于两种状态的变化过程之中,那它就必然是短暂的。我们听个笑话,哈哈一乐就过去了,短则数秒长则数十秒,如果笑个一天半,那就该肌肉痉挛了。为什么造物主不把我们的幸福快乐设计得长一些持久一些呢?这个问题恐怕没有确切的答案,抑或是因为短暂所以宝贵而我们才会珍惜才会去追求。

说到底,我们的人生就是由一件件事所构成的,在这些或大或小的事情中,绝大部分是需要我们劳神费力、背负压力,有可能遭受失败、痛苦和打击的。从小读书求学与别人竞争,各种补习班,大大小小的考试,好不容易进入大学没几天又要面临就业压力,工作后要买房、成家,之后子女教育赡养父母,一晃几十年就过去了……只有在这些事情之间的短暂间隙,我们才能够体会轻松愉悦。如果人生本就如此,那我们也就释然了,既然这是不以我们意志为转移的规律,那就一件件事去做,一天天去活,勇于承担苦痛,同时珍惜快乐。

再次,幸福快乐是高度主观性的。

既然是个人所体验到的,那就是非常主观的,种类不同,程度也会千差万别。比如毛爷爷爱吃辣爱吃霉豆腐,尤其爱吃红烧肉而且要肥的,自称红烧肉能补脑子,他就是吃着红烧肉打败了蒋介石。可这种带给毛爷爷快乐的饮食习惯到了江青那里就被嗤之以鼻为土包子;你听郭德纲的段子觉得可乐,他呢却热衷于少马爷马志明的不温不火;有人喜欢安安静静地读书听音乐自得其乐,也有人喜欢聚会喜欢热闹,徜徉于觥筹交错之间挥洒豪情。

这种主观性或者说自我性带来的副效应是:我们可以脱离物质、文化和客观环境的羁绊去追寻属于自己的幸福快乐。而这,也许恰恰是生活的真谛!

作为我生命中最“亲密”的“陪伴者”之一,我不得不说说我所患的疾病。我这个病学名为肌萎缩侧索硬化症,属于运动神经元病,英文简称为ALS,俗称“渐冻症”。这个病是世界卫生组织开列的与癌症、艾滋病、白血病、类风湿并列的5大绝症之一。由于运动神经元进行性死亡,患者会逐渐丧失发起和控制随意运动的能力,肌肉无力萎缩,慢慢的无法活动、无法说话、无法吞咽,最终无法呼吸,就如同身体被逐渐冰冻一般。该病发现于1874年,由于病因不明,目前依然缺乏治愈或有效治疗的方法。患者诊断后平均生存期仅有2到5年,其中20%可以超过5年,10%可以超过10年。这个病的发病率比较低,也就十万分之几,在去年夏天风靡全球的冰桶挑战之前,绝大部分人可能完全没有听说过,甚至于很多医务人员,也对该病不怎么了解。

不过,相对于更罕见的疾病,ALS还是有一定知名度的,因为有几位比较知名的病友,比如英国理论物理学家史蒂芬霍金和已故美国棒球运动员卢伽雷。前者因科普著作《时间简史》为大众所熟知,而根据他早年经历拍摄的电影《万物理论》则获得了最新一届的奥斯卡最佳男主角奖;后者是美国棒球史上的传奇人物,以至于ALS在美国一般被称为卢伽雷氏症。其实还有一位病友可谓是最大名鼎鼎的,那就是前面提到的爱吃红烧肉的毛爷爷。不过在那个年代,他的健康状况属于最高机密,以至于现在也没几个人知道他罹患的是ALS。

INCLUDEPICTURE "http://n2.hdfimg.com/g1/M00/00/94/o4YBAFNYxlCAbVfHAAHGm3igosU792_600_600_1.jpg?fa17" \* MERGEFORMATINET

我是2009年发病的,发展相对比较慢,但现在也已经完全丧失行走和站立能力,上肢也损害严重,生活无法自理,呼吸方面也有些不好,偶尔需要呼吸机支持。我见过的发展最快的病友,从发病到离世也就10个月时间,几乎是一天一个样子。还有一些病情沉重的病友,完全瘫痪在床,只有眼睛可以活动,24小时需要呼吸机辅助,吃饭需要搅拌成流质,然后从肚子上的造瘘口打进胃里。我曾经陷入迷茫,我们这样的状态,到底是在活着吗?也许真的存在生与死之间的第三种状态吧。那么,困扰很多病友的问题就来了,煎熬之中为什么要坚持活着?为了等待奇迹?为了家人?或者仅仅是因为好死不如赖活着?可能吧,但这些答案太过具体,存在局限性,以此为支撑的信念在与日俱增的痛苦面前难说不会崩塌。最终,我找到了自己的答案:坚守生命,做自己能做而想做的事,体验依然能体会到的快乐和美好!

最后,幸福快乐更侧重于精神和心理层面。

物质生活的富足能够给我们带来舒适,但并不必然能带来幸福快乐,甚至于,太过富足的物质生活还可能降低我们的幸福感,引发出“你幸福吗?”的疑问。

归根到底,一切物质和外界的刺激都要经由感官系统成为神经信号和冲动进入我们的大脑,随后被反映为各种各样的感受。前阵子看电影《推拿》,其中有位盲人不知道何为美丽,想想也是,这是一个完全抽象化的概念,如果没有视觉,又如何去感知和分辨美丑!

我的这个病有个特点,在整个病程中,患者的感觉、思维和记忆等功能大多不受影响。这是挺可怕的,因为你不得不眼睁睁地看着自己不断衰弱走向死亡,无法略去整个过程的任何一点痛苦。很多病友为此而焦虑纠结,特别是那些因病而妻离子散孤立无援的病友们,还要遭受人生冷暖的折磨。但换个角度想想,如果失去了思维、记忆和精神,没有了感知爱和美好的能力,那还能称之为人吗?毕竟,人与普通动物的本质区别,就在于此。

那么,我们究竟如何获得幸福快乐?或者说,我们如何能获得更多的幸福快乐?我想,还是要从幸福快乐的特点入手。

第一、善用比较。

既然幸福快乐源于比较,那么我们就要善用比较。

首先,还是与自己的比较。当然,我们不能为了比较而去刻意创造“不适”,而是应该不断地主动创造“更舒适”,这与积极向上的人生态度是相辅相成的。每个人都有禁锢他的圆圈,具体的或抽象的,出生的时候圆圈最小,然后主动或被动,有意或无意地逐渐扩展,学习更多的知识,行走更远的距离,认识更多的朋友……在这个过程中,我们应该尽量主动而有意地制定目标,去努力争取,避免随波逐流。这种态度是可以恒久的,不管客观环境是优越、糟糕还是残酷。

我大学宿舍有个兄弟,父亲送他来学校,走的时候跟他说:“无论什么时候,都要让自己活得像个样子”。这句话带有种悲壮感,因而让我印象深刻。这个舍友家庭条件一般,吃穿用度朴实无华,衣服不多但他很注意搭配,陈设简单但他很善于摆布。见过大学宿舍的朋友们肯定深有体会,邋遢脏乱如猪窝的不少,衣服鞋子堆放一塌糊涂的比比皆是,但他的床位总是整齐干净,睡前将衣物叠放整齐放在床头,起床后将被褥整理得平平整整,剃须修面一丝不苟,整个人的气质始终清爽精神。我后来琢磨,他父亲为什么会说那样一句话,可能是因为当时家中正遭遇变故,可能是因为知道他对学校特别是住宿条件心怀不满,也可能仅仅是对即将开始新生活的儿子的一句嘱托。但无论如何,我的舍友做到了,他在不优越甚至恶劣的环境中始终让自己活的很像样,六级考试全年级最高分,高分换专业读研,现在成家立业独当一面。每年小聚的时候,我都依然能感觉到他那一如既往的精气神!

另一方面就是和他人的比较。处于顺境的时候,我们应该向上比,这样能够不骄傲不妄自尊大;处于逆境的时候,我们可以向下比,这样能够不悲戚不妄自菲薄。前者相对容易操作,后者则涉及到看待问题的角度,与阿Q精神的自我欺骗麻醉不同的是,应该以事实为依据并且把握实质。

在打字还不像现在这么艰难的时候,我上QQ比较多,群里病友来自全国各地,文化、层次、经历不同,看问题的态度也就千差万别,时常有讨论甚至争论发生。记得有一次,一个病友说:“要是我们这个病能像非典和艾滋病那样传染就好了,国家就重视了……”。现在看来,这只是他在困境中的一种抱怨和宣泄,但当时我很不客气地回复道:“如果ALS传染,最初的受害者就会是我们的家人和朋友,你希望这样?”病友中进行类似的比较是不少见的,实际上没有抓住问题的本质。诚然,非典和艾滋病的传染性确实是国家乃至全世界颇为重视的一个原因,但癌症、心脑血管疾病等非传染性疾病也备受关注。因此传染性不是核心,关键在于社会影响力。要引起重视,就需要想办法提高社会影响力。前几年经常有些谣言,什么艾滋病人报复社会把血打在西瓜里,弄到烤肉里云云。这样的流言虽然可以在短期内形成爆炸式社会影响力,但后果是人们的恐惧、敌意乃至进一步的歧视,陷入恶性循环。ALS患者群体应该以积极正面的方式提升社会影响力,展示我们对生命的珍视,在困境中的不屈,让社会各界爱我们、敬我们,同情我们,而不是怕我们、恨我们,排斥我们。

在有病友抱怨疾病的痛苦时,我会和他们说:我们在病程大部分时间里,是不会有疼痛问题的,即便有,也大多能够忍受,这就比癌症那翻江倒海的疼痛折磨要好;我们得这个病,心里是踏实坦荡的,也不会传染给家人,这就比艾滋病那可能抬不起头的被歧视感和传染性要好;我们这个病的发病年龄大多是中老年,大部分病友拥有事业、家庭和基本完整的人生,这就比那些罹患脊髓性肌萎缩和进行性肌营养不良的孩子们好得多,他们很多活不到成年,恋爱、工作等根本无从谈起。

进行这样的比较,能够帮助我们更坦然地面对困境,更好地平衡心态。

第二、认识自己,了解自己的真实想法。

既然幸福快乐是非常主观自我的体验,那么就要知道自己究竟想要什么,喜欢什么。

方舟子在谈到成功的时候说,他认为成功是能做自己想做的事,同时对社会有所贡献。我觉得这是很贴切的。我们的教育制度和社会文化,往往忽略了对人个性的塑造。在和同龄人的交流中,我们普遍感到困惑,学了很多知识却不知道为什么而学,不只是不知道自己能做什么,甚至连自己想做什么、想要什么样的生活都不太清楚。稀里糊涂地读完大学,没有多少选择地步入社会,然后纠结于日常琐事之中无法自拔。

优酷上有一档名为《侣行》的视频节目,记录一对情侣的旅行和生活。他们早年卖过豆腐,卖过做豆腐的机器,甚至开过公共厕所,后来加盟了首饰连锁商,生活逐步稳定下来。2008年汶川地震,他们作为志愿者深入灾区,在挽救生命的过程中挥洒了无数的汗水和泪水。生命的脆弱和渺小带给他们很大的触动,因而萌发了改变生活方式的念头。在经过精心的准备之后,他们放弃了生意和安逸的生活,开始旅行,去追寻能够帮助他们感悟生命、生活、生存是一种挑战的体验。他们去了无政府状态、人手一只AK47的索马里,去了一片死寂核辐射危险无处不在的切尔诺贝利,还有最冷的奥伊米亚康,海上环球航行,北极求婚,南极举行婚礼,最近又开始了穿越全球80%战争国家的西行之路……虽然旅途充满了艰辛和危险,但他们在做真正想做的事,在其中体验着自己的浪漫和快乐。

人生苦短,充满了身不由己的无奈,我们可能无法像他们那样洒脱,但应该在条件允许的时候,去循着内心的感觉,为自己而生活。

第三、着重追求精神世界的丰富与提升。

既然幸福快乐更侧重于精神和心理层面,那么在追求幸福快乐的过程中,我们就需要关注于更能触动我们精神、心理和灵魂的,需要更高级技巧的刺激。

在现今高度文明的人类社会,休闲时间越来越富足,但却产生了一系列的“文明病”,比如暴力事件层出不穷,毒品泛滥,抑郁症等精神顽疾不断增加。这些问题的原因之一就是我们对空虚无聊的恐惧——人们需要忙碌,但却无法找到能够保持忙碌的合适的刺激。

茨威格《象棋的故事》中刻画了这样一个人物:德国吞并奥地利时,他遭暗算被囚于徒有四壁的单间内,在无比空虚孤寂中靠一本偷来的棋谱培养了象棋才能。但没有棋盘、没有对手的长期自我对弈使得他精神分裂乃至癫狂。虽然这篇小说是在控诉纳粹法西斯对人心灵的折磨及摧残,但所描述的现象却极具现实意义。

小时候我家附近的一条小巷里遍布大大小小的麻将馆,终日噼里啪啦不绝于耳。大学时候曾经有同学在网吧吃住数周、数月玩网游,自称出了网吧就不知道往哪儿走。我之前以为他们是无聊才这样打发时光,现在才明白,他们是惧怕无聊才这样打发时光。然而这类低端或重复性的活动,很容易让人觉得乏味,并进一步摧毁人的意志,最终沦为精神鸦片。从事这样活动,并非能获得幸福快乐,而仅仅是为了避免痛苦。

最令人神往的良性活动,往往是需要最高技能和耐心的活动,比如科学研究、文学艺术、技巧性体育运动等。杨振宁曾提到狄拉克的文章给人“秋水文章不染尘”的感受,没有任何废话,直指本质,直达宇宙的奥秘。我们普通人恐怕很难理解狄拉克的工作,也就无法感受到杨振宁所体会到的快乐,但那种美好的感觉一定是很高级、很通透,很让人神往的。见贤思齐是内置于我们基因中的素养,志存高远也就在一念之间!

第四、帮助他人获得幸福快乐。

人的天性中有一定程度的利己性,但同时也具备相当比例的利他性。面对弱者,我们会不由自主地产生同情,看到别人受苦,我们会不忍心。在灾难面前,舍己救人的例子屡见不鲜。助人者劳心费力,自掏腰包,甚至甘冒生命危险,救的是素不相识、未来也很可能不会再见的陌生人。平日里,我们也常在明知没有回报的情况下贡献自己的时间、精力、金钱,如捐款、献血、做志愿者、为陌生人指路等等。

这些善意之举,似乎违背了传说中的自私人性,但无疑让我们所在的社群变得更温暖。社会交换理论为利他主义提供了一个解释,助人其实也能带来报偿。报偿分两类,外部报偿与内部报偿。助人者能获得众人称许,能提高社会声望,如果帮的是血缘亲戚,还能增加自己基因的流传几率……这都是外部报偿。内部报偿也同样重要。我们做了好事,往往会觉得自己更有价值。当我们带给别人好心情的时候,自己的情绪也会随之提升。帮助他人能为自己带来快乐,因此有助人为乐一说;而当我们心情良好时,也会特别愿意为他人排忧解难,也就是所谓乐于助人。

追求幸福与快乐,是生活的本源性推动力,也是造物主赋予生命的天然权利和意义之一。祝福所有的朋友们无论身处何种境遇,都能够体验到幸福与快乐!